Albescent Trichotomy
by Aka-Mainyu
Summary: The Rogue Jōnin, Uchiha Itachi, escaped after slaying his entire clan four years ago, dealing the second major blow to Konohagakure no Sato and letting it spiral into agony and disgrace. Things have gotten better.
1. Epeirogenesis (I)

**Ágrip**: The Rogue Jōnin, Uchiha Itachi, escaped after slaying his entire clan four years ago, dealing the second major blow to Konohagakure no Sato and letting it spiral into agony and disgrace. Things have gotten better.

**Hjón**: N/A

**Lengd**: 2,119 orð

* * *

><p>A harsh wind scathed and carves and chips away at his face. He'd try to hide himself, bury himself into his jacket at each gust, try to avoid getting frozen over rock-solid. The frigid weather was pretty typical of <em>nigatsu no jōjon<em>, nothing out of the ordinary there, yet he'd feel it as treason against himself were he not to complain.

The goggles were too tight on his forehead, so tight that they'd often cut into his skin and make wounds. He was used and desentisised to pain - were he not, he wouldn't have been caught dead jumping head-first into trouble - but that same pain he was used to had a tendency to hit him head-on and then pass. He wasn't used to the constant, dull drumming of agitated nerves.

Just as the wound would heal up, he'd shift the goggles into a marginally more comfortable position and tear up the scabs, causing him to bleed again. The pain annoyed him more than anything, inconvenienced him at worst. He could live with it.

He hugged his neon scarf closer and leaned against a tree. The bark poked his back a bit but he ignored it. The dials on the watch were showing fifteen minutes too much. He was already growing anxious at his co-conspirator's tardiness, anxious due to the cold. Thank _kami_ it wasn't snowing or he'd have been out of there and back home long since by then.

He went out without gloves like only a fool would. Even though it was technically his second time doing it, anxiety gripped him as if he were stealing a collection of jewels. Which he kind of was. Worse than a bag of jewels, even. He scratched his scalp and went through his hair a couple of times, ruffling it. This time they'd succeed, they bet each other.

Success took damned long to get to him, that is. He nodded to two _chūnin_ who eyed him warily. Not enough decency to nod back, no? Nope. His partner in crime tapped his shoulder half a heartbeat later. High treason, theft, destruction of property, breaking and entry. He was seventeen minutes late. They jumped the fence.

"Took you long enough!" the blond boy hissed. He received an eye roll.

"Got in, got it, got out. What more do you want? Nobody caught me. It was a drag getting to you at all."

"I wasn't late last time!"

"You weren't unseen, either. You're a walking alarm tripper; you weren't late, no, they _returned_ you to me. They even said, 'here, Shika, isn't this yours?'"

Naruto winced. Truth, most of what he said was spot on.

"Hold the scroll, I have to do this," the boy said and gave the giant roll of paper to Naruto. He had already gotten his hairband out and was working his hair through it.

"You look different without the tail."

"Of course I do. It's a bother to have it loose. Can you hold it? We have to go."

The blond nodded and stood up.

"How'd you even get it in the first place? The rooms are guarded better than the asshole of a Hyūga heir."

"Simple. You just have to know the parties involved, the guard rotations, the owner of the thing."

Shikamaru snorted, then added: "I don't even think they're guarding it well enough, considering what this thing actually _is_, and let's face it, these are some valuable wads of some high-quality _gasenshi_ paper."

"You think? What happened?"

"The total amount of guards was three. No _jōnin_ anywhere in that sector. It's the residence of all places! No night duty, no nothing. Three _chūnin_ on a patrol. This is fishy."

"You're just paranoid, Shika. Nothing's fishy. This is where we're headed, hey."

He stopped at a grove. The trees were awfully high and the canopy and foliage around it dense as gold. Moonlight seeped through cracks in the branches. The wind had died down. Shikamaru didn't care as he put a snug olive beanie on.

"What you looking at? It's cold."

Naruto shrugged half a moment later and laid the scroll on the hoary grass. That was it. The scroll wasn't quite sealed in the true meaning of the words, yet it bore the waxen seal of the Senju. The jackpot.

"What do we do with this, though?"

"What do you mean? We learn it, of course! All of it! That's why we got it in the first place, we didn't get it to look at it and wait for them to arrest us. Well, at least I didn't plan on us doing that."

"No, I mean… There's some terribly dangerous stuff in here. What do we learn? Why should we even learn anything if it's going to screw us over anyhow?"

"Did you risk your ass just so you could leave it here for it to magically fall into some wrong hands?"

"And we're right hands?"

Naruto shook his head.

"Just… Just open it and let's hurry up. We have some time."

Shikamaru first put his thumb right on the seal - black wax, extremely delicate - and pressed hard. The seal cracked with ease. The scroll unrolled almost as if by itself. Easy pickings.

The wonders of precognition were beyond him, but the miracle of foresight wasn't. It didn't take him too much brainpower to figure out they would try to rob them blind again - which they did - or disappear, unseen this time - which they did again. Ideally, he would know where the kids ran off to and what they'd do. Realistically? He knew jack shit.

* * *

><p>It's amazing how two thirteen-year-old idiots could outsmart him. He first counted on them thinking one step ahead and probably expecting to be searched for in the forests and going to either one's place. Shikaku hadn't seen his son for quite a while, he said. Nothing in Naruto's flat either. Maybe they expected that. Two on guard duty had seen the Nara, he heard, but not that that would change much; he was headed for the residence.<p>

Maybe they were at Shikaku's yet the man had them hidden. Perhaps, but even if it were so, who on Earth would permit some _chūnin_ to go through clan grounds, combing them for two children where one of them is the heir of said clan whose grounds they'd be combing! Chaos, absolute chaos and anarchy. There'd be a riot on their hands three minutes into the search. No, that can't be done.

He buried his face in his hands. That was going to be scandalous beyond comprehension. The honourable Nara heir and the… Naruto. Maybe they expected him to think they'd not go to the forest or something. Awful headache. He didn't want anyone to find out what had happened before he either managed to find the boys or couldn't track them down himself. Tough luck had it that, within fifteen minutes, everyone found out.

"They stole the _Fūin no Sho_! The Uzumaki and Nara boys!" a bespectacled _chūnin_ shouted.

"We have no idea what they'd use it for," replied his scarred colleague. Thus shouted another, and another, and yet another. They droned on repetitively. It was really really late and he still hadn't yet had any coffee.

The _Hōkage_ was in full formal gear even at this time of night. As if he were planning to run his office at three in the morning. He had a point there, though; if word got out he'd have a forest cut down to print the papers he'd need to sign. _Think positively, think positively…_

"Silence!" the old man said. They promptly obeyed. Old, sure, but he had the weight of respect anchoring him in reverence.

"It's one of the dangerous scrolls, sealed away by Hashirama. No matter who took them, they can be unwittingly used to work great grief unto the land."

The gathered shinobi nodded.

"It hasn't been more than a few hours since they took it. Every second that passes increases the chances of them being caught by somebody, leaving the scroll's secrets in peril. Go, find them. Try to bring them back unharmed, but if you must, use force if that is what it takes to protect the village."

"_Hōkage-sama_, how can we assume that they might not be foreign agents?"

He made a point, Mizuki did. Were it someone else that did it, Iruka would agree. Shikamaru and Naruto, though? Not a chance in Hell.

"These are kids that, while idiotic at times - yes I'll admit - and obtuse at others, are about as pure as they come, _Hōkage-sama_. I'm sure you know both boys, Naruto and Shikamaru, you can judge for yourself. The blond just wants to be accepted and the Nara is… I know you know what I mean."

This caused the _Hōkage_ to frown. He knew.

"Try not to harm them, I told you. Go!"

At the sound of his command, they all _shunshined_ away in a voluminous cloud of smoke. He and Mizuki went together. He stopped on the roof of a block of flats, just barely short of breath. Mizuki stopped with him.

"This is all wrong, something's wrong. Mizuki, can't you see it?"

He shook his head, wincing.

"You know them better than me, personally. It might be clouding your judgement. It doesn't even matter why they did it, they did something unforgivable and we have to get them and the scroll they stole back. It's as simple as that."

What a narrow worldview. Nowhere near surprising, having come from Mizuki, no.

"Besides, it doesn't even concern us. There are judges and courts for this kind of thing."

"They're kids! Have a little consideration!"

"Old enough to steal, old enough to disappear forever. Don't take me the wrong way, but they're a threat."

Iruka shrugged and in silence proceeded towards where his counterpart felt himself pulled to and where the two would be. He stopped an arm's distance from a warning sign.

**Training Grounds X**

[**DO NOT ENTER UNAUTHORISED**]

"Lovely. Why here?" Iruka asked.

"We lost the two of them on a field trip to here once while you were on a medical leave. Almost cost us our heads and disbarment."

"Ah well. Why here, though?"

"Why we went here? Asura wanted to-"

"No, I mean, why would you think they'd be here? There's absolutely nothing to see in here, not to mention it's a frequently visited area. If they wanted to hide, I'd bet they'd go elsewhere."

Mizuki shrugged.

Iruka almost gave up on him as they stood there, looking at the grounds. After some pondering and a couple of sighs, Mizuki did answer: "It's a thing, I guess. I really don't know. There are enough of us looking for them, don't worry if they're not here."

They climbed the fence with ease and then ascended a tree. Mizuki led the way and Iruka didn't protest. They dragged themselves through the forest, almost even going in circles.

"We should just have burned the scrolls, Hashirama should've. Some of the _jutsu_ in there have become more-less common knowledge, some superceded. The rest we could just seal away better."

"Iruka, you think too much."

"Maybe, but think about it. This is definitely not the first incident revolving around the things that we've had, certainly they could just be a bit better guarded or something. You get me, don't you?"

Mizuki just shook his head.

"It's not how it works and you know it."

Iruka's eyes darted all around as he sweeped and covered every inch of clearing, trying to pinpoint the two. The wind was already picking up in the grounds. The only sounds they'd hear were the muffled _pat_s of their shoes against wood and the occasional rustling of leaves and branches by forest critters.

The sky had begun to brighten when they found the one clearing in the woods.

"Naruto? Shikamaru? Are you…oh gods, can you hear me?"


	2. Revelation (II)

**Hjón**: N/A

**Lengd**: 2,225 (4,344) orð

* * *

><p>The first thing that came to him was to check their pulse and other core bodily functions. They didn't move, not even once, and their pulse was somewhere between that of a rock and a shellfish. He slapped both of them once, twice, but noted no physiological reaction. <em>Shit<em>.

Mizuki swiftly went pale, yet out of another reason.

"Where's the scroll?"

Ah yes, priorities. No, he was right. Iruka swung his head around, swept the area.

"Nowhere. This is bad."

He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. No, no extraordinary chakra signature nearby - or at least none he could detect. Naruto's was blotting out pretty much everything even in this weakened state of his. Shikamaru was almost as pale as Naruto, a true feat on its own, yet was nonetheless still stuffed with-

Oh.

Mizuki was going around the clearing looking for traces, tracks, whatever he could find. Iruka took his flak jacket off and covered Naruto's body. His hands immediately went to the kunai holster on his thigh.

"Found anything?"

"No, it's not here… it's definitely not here, it's somewhere. Someone must've taken it from them. I'm not sure we can return back to report this quickly enough."

"Who could've taken it?"

"Who wouldn't want it? Everyone wants the scroll - they'd kill for it. No, they did kill for it."

"They're not dead, Mizuki."

"Not yet, sure, but they're as good as dead. We need that scroll."

"No, Mizuki. They're _not dead_."

The three words that caused him to stop dead in his tracks. He stood up from where he was crouching and turned to Iruka. First was a look of confusion painted on his face - how could they not be dead - and following it was a gasp of realisation. Mizuki drew some shuriken and shot Iruka a terrified glare.

Iruka quickly tossed two smoke bombs and jumped into the trees, but Mizuki followed through and tossed the shuriken in his general direction. Two or three _whoosh_ed easily past him, one stuck in his tree.

The boys were still nowhere in sight. Mizuki started oozing towards his jacket, flat on the ground.

"Mizuki, stop this now!"

"Can't you see you're siding with traitors? You're going to get yourself killed one way or another, killed with these traitors when the village gets its hands on you! Can't you see they're dead? Who are you even trying to fool?"

"I-". He halted. Needed more time.

"I'd… I'd like to believe that we can save them! Stop this!"

"Okay, now you just sound stupid. Come out and fight me if you're going to protect them even if they're dead."

Showtime.

"I'm coming down!" he shouted about as loud as he could. Best be as obnoxious and obvious as possible. He skidded down the tree bark and landed softly on the ground. He drew his kunai.

"Mizuki, you know that attacking me means treason?"

"No treason in killing traitors."

He crouched, threw the kunai towards Mizuki and made a run for it. Three more shurken went his way. A swift break and a reversal of direction had his life saved. Still not enough maneuvering room, where-

Ah. Ah yes.

"Mizuki-sensei!"

He froze in place. Iruka could see the colour drain directly from his face in three heartbeats. His foot dropped on Iruka's flak jacket. In two seconds' worth time he gained enough ground to make some significant progress… but there wasn't any more need of him as far as he could see.

"Yeah, we kinda have a question."

He turned around to see two teenagers sitting on a branch. A quick glance to his feet told him one important detail: he missed the fact that he was supposed to be standing on top of the pale-haired boy he was just talking to.

"Things flow from place to place, you know? Don't worry about that now. Yeah, back to the thing. We did kinda get this thing out of the palace residence place quietly, more-less, and we meant to ask you what to do, you know. Didn't know we were supposed to betray the village, yeah."

"Mizuki?"

He swiftly turned to Iruka. "Don't interfere!" he shouted, pointing another shuriken. "You don't have a- just shut up!"

His colleague popped a vein and went red from rage.

"Yeah, it was a chore to get this roll of crap."

Iruka saw Shikamaru holding the _Fūin no Sho_, unravelled in his lap. He didn't look too amused.

"You told us learning some of the _jutsu_ in this scroll would give an edge in the exams. Well, yeah, it probably will, but that wasn't the point, now, was it?"

Naruto jumped off the tree and landed a couple of steps away from Mizuki.

"You haven't learned anything! You're just as useless as always!"

"That's not a nice thing to say."

"It's right! Both of you were useless, always, just taking up room in class we could've assigned to someone worthy of it. But no, everyone gets an equal opportunity, Hiruzen says, everyone gets a chance at ruining other people's chances."

Shikamaru shook his head.

"What do you think we've been doing here for six hours? Sitting on our asses and being useless?"

"You're just kids! You're no match for me!"

"What'd you say? You'll regret that!"

Naruto bolted towards Mizuki, kunai in hand. The _chūnin_ just shot him a disinterested glare and knocked the knife out the boy's hand with a shuriken.

"Just surrender and I'll be gentle."

"He won't give up for anything, you don't know him."

"Yeah, fuck you! I'll get you!"

Wasn't at all clear what Naruto wanted to accomplish with training kunai, otherwise dulled beyond reason, as even when they hit Mizuki - who gave up even dodging them - they did pretty much nothing. After four or five of the boy's tosses, Mizuki drew his own thrown weapons, probably his last stock, and pointed one of the shuriken at Naruto.

"Your time's up, kid," he said and threw the shuriken at a smirking Naruto.

The moment it hit the boy, he started disintegrating. Half a heartbeat later and he _poof_ed away in a cloud of smoke and dust. Bingo.

"What? _What!_"

"You thought we were _sitting on our asses_ for half a day here?" asked a voice to his left.

"You thought we'd just go somewhere and wait to be discovered?" asked one right behind him.

"You thought we'd wait for your unapologetic ass-"

"You demonic maggot!" Mizuki cut in. "You don't even know what you're doing! Do you even know why nobody likes you? Why Shikaku had to rope his son into playing with you? Why you had to grow up with twenty dozen more orphans?"

Ok, that was too much. He _had_ to intervene now.

"Mizuki, stop. You know what the _Ho-_"

"Shut it, Iruka! You think I care what some old puppet says? Naruto, listen! I'll tell you the one truth everybody's hidden from you for years now. What nobody tells you is that people avoid you because you're a demon, you know?"

"What are you talking about? Shika?"

The black-haired boy just shrugged and nodded.

"He knows I'm right, you know? Almost everybody knows, too, but there's a law here that prevents people from talking about it and telling you. Look where it's gotten us! You're just a ticking time-bomb with that… _thing_ inside you!"

"What thing?"

"Humour me this: when were you born?"

"Tenth of October, why?"

"What happened then?"

"There was a-" he started. His face lit up with realisation. "_Oh._"

"You have the _Kyūbi no Yōko_ sealed in you! You're just a walking prison for the worst thing Konoha's ever faced! They didn't want to destroy it so, what did they do? They sealed it off in you so that you can eventually become a living weapon!"

"Mizuki, stop! That's enough!"

"Enough? When will it be enough? Even you, Iruka, know first-hand what the demon in him can do!" He swung around quickly in place, keeping his kunai ready. There were six, no, seven Narutos around him.

"You know, Naruto, the _Kyūbi_ killed Iruka's parents. He's an orphan because of that thing in you! So many people are, and nobody would like anything better than to just off you like the monster you are once and for all. Even the Nara brat, he knows all of this, he knew and never told you! You know why? Your beloved _Hōkage_ forced a law into legislation that forbade everyone from talking about what you're a container for. Why? They wanted to keep you ignorant and mould you!"

"Oh, shut it already," said Shikamaru. "I just didn't give a shit, that's why I didn't tell him. What, they're going to persecute a clansman for rattling out an open, public secret? No, it doesn't even matter."

Iruka took a handful more steps towards Mizuki who quickly turned towards him.

"Stop there, don't move, I'll kill you!"

"Mizuki, it's been enough."

"I told you to stop! Are you fucking deaf?"

Shikamaru waved over to Iruka to get his attention, then pointed towards one of the bushes. Two black-haired men stood there - where did they even come from unnoticed - who looked like they were in their late twenties or early thirties. Both wore standard _jōnin_ gear, both had the distinctive earrings.

"No, but you're blind," one spoke. His voice was raspy. Iruka didn't quite know him.

"Ah, Suzaku-oji, Ensui-oji. Welcome to the party."

"Thanks, kid. So, what's going on?"

Mizuki turned around to face them.

"Hey there, Mizuki-san. I'm not sure I understand completely what's going on in here, so could you please fill me in?"

"Nara-san, we're just discussing some… things. Nothing important, best if I'd go. _Hōkage-sama_ is expecting us. We best be off."

"Yes, you best be offed."

It took Mizuki half an eyeblink to realise what had happened. He was frozen in place. He could only see that there was an unbroken shadow between him and the Nara. His eyes began darting frantically all over the place.

"You know, it's not Naruto you could call a monster," Shikamaru began, "You won't be able to call anybody anything soon enough."

He jumped off the tree and walked over to Suzaku.

"Suzaku-oji, could you hold this thing for me for a while?"

He handed him the scroll which the _jōnin_ slung over shoulder. "You got _this_? Shikaku-san told us you'd have a sweet catch, not the damned forbidden scroll."

He just shook his head. "Not my problem, anyway."

Shikamaru cracked his knuckles and stretched his neck a bit.

"Some target practice, I suppose. Would you mind, Mizuki-sensei? No, of course not."

The blunt kunai Naruto had thrown around had in the meanwhile reverted back to their original shape: they became more Narutos. Mizuki was surrounded by at least two dozen opponents and, in addition, locked in place.

"Uhm, Nara-tachi… I didn't expect you folks here really. There was this cool move I planned and all…"

"Don't worry 'bout it, little man."

He nodded. Shikamaru had by now gotten to just an arm's reach away from Mizuki. His hand was outstretched and his fingers were letting off heat visible even to the naked eye. His victim stared at him, petrified.

"...Or, you know, you could be able to call people names, but in return I'll take something else…"

"Shika, man, what are you doing?"

His friend paid him no heed. "Now, Mizuki, relax. This will _sting_."

He edged his finger closer to his forehead painfully slowly.

"Are you ready? Yes? No? I don't get you. Anyway, you know that they used this _fūinjutsu_ to write on stone and metal? Some of the scribes in my clan used it, but here it's been explained so with quite some elegance. _Shikoku Fūin_, they call it. One-step seal."

He stuck his finger onto the man's forehead.

"_Psss_, Mizuki-sensei."

The skin on his forehead quickly went discoloured - burned - and his eyes started tearing up.

"Now, my dear uncles might also want to have a word with you. Goodbye, sensei. Have a good one."

He went up to Iruka with whom Naruto already stood.

"What a drag. Didn't expect father to have them come this fast; told him tomorrow morning. Hey, it wasn't that bad on its own, really."

"The fuck's your problem, man?"

"Had too little sleep, Naruto. Unlike you, my batteries are on a permanently low level." He sighed and waved his goodbyes to the Nara men that were binding Mizuki up. Both Iruka and Naruto kept two steps away from Shikamaru. Next stop they had to visit was the residence.


	3. Mitosis (III)

**Hjón**: N/A

**Lengd**: 5,012 (9,356) orð

* * *

><p>When day came, they had the privilege of being excessively shouted at and afterwards carried off to the council chambers near the residence.<p>

The whole formal procedure was excessively ornate, with fourteen village dignitaries, the _Hōkage_ and the Nara whom he had, apparently, dragged off into danger; the largest, most formal gathering he had ever went to was there to decide his destiny. Duration? Three miserable hours. Verdict? 'Naruto, just go home.'

Didn't help him that out of those fourteen, six were either from Nara-ke or were associated with them, nor the fact that he was with one of them instead of just being alone. Nope, nothing significantly helpful in that. Thing was, the dignitaries were there to suggest, not act: the final say had the old man.

"Shika, man, sorry for dragging you into this."

"It happens... just let's not do this anymore. You got one, I got one and that's enough."

Naruto took a cautious sip of fizzling _tonkotsu_ broth. Lightly creamy and all, scant with onion, though. He poked at the _chāshū_ meat slices with his chopsticks, toyed with it as the tender pork fell apart. Shikamaru stirred the_ miso_.

"This is a good _rāmen-ya_. I don't usually eat this kind stuff but... yeah, it's nice, actually."

Naruto lit up.

"I've been here I don't even know how many times and it never gets boring!"

Shikamaru glanced at the mound of empty bowls sitting there next to them.

"I... can see," Shikamaru said with some hesitation. "Do you ever fill up?"

"Nuh-uh! Everything that goes in sinks into a bottomless pit! Or a toilet, eventually. But yeah there's no limits. Iruka-sensei took me here once. Never again, though."

They ate in silence for a while. Teuchi came around to check in on them a handful of times, and always returned with an extra bowl. Shikamaru couldn't fail to notice that each of the bowl deliveries was followed by a scribble into a notebook.

"What's that about?"

"What you mean?"

"Ichiraku-san, the notebook?"

"What? Ah, oh. Yeah. He keeps those records since, you know, someone has to pay for all this food I keep vacuuming up. Most of what I eat I couldn't pay off in a lifetime, you know, so it primarily goes up to the old man. Most of my bills do. He'd shout from time to time. I got used to it."

"Ah."

There was something in the- no, was garlic. He tried killing time as another one of those awkward silences befell them. He'd glance at Shikamaru, then poke at his _rāmen_ a bit - well, 'poke at it' as in 'inhale it' - then glance back. His friend noticed it quite quickly.

"Hey, Shika, I… I gotta ask you this."

He nodded and gestured for him to continue.

"What was that about… whatever that was? You know, the Kyūbi thing. I'm… I don't know, why is everybody silent about it? Am I… am I really _that_?"

"Beats me, don't got a clue why nobody's allowed to talk about it. The _Hōkage_ basically forbade talking about it, mention it, every and anything. Would have to ask my father, he I'll bet won't say a thing about what I actually ask. Or maybe he will, don't know. But yeah, no, I don't know. Dad explained using a scroll-and-kunai analogy: if you seal a kunai into a scroll, does the scroll become the kunai?"

Naruto shook his head.

"Of course not. Now, consider this little spanner in the problem. A kunai's fine. The Kyūbi is really in this case a sentient genocidal kunai with immeasurable chakra and-"

"Genocidal?"

"Mass-murderer, that kinda thing. Besides, yeah, the Kyūbi is a kunai huge as _fuck_ and you're basically the scroll. Except the scroll has chakra as well, and the kunai has chakra that outdoes the scroll's chakra a million times over, and it's the scroll's chakra - and the seals - that keep the kunai in and the kunai… Forget it, I don't know. I don't even know myself. Don't even care. You have to die of something. I certainly don't wanna be eaten by a batshit fox demon but, hey, if it happens, it happens."

"For all it's worth, thanks. That stupid fake explanation really helped. It does explain why I don't have friends at all."

"Hey!"

"Okay, okay. Lemme rephrase… It explains why I don't have normal friends."

"You want normal? Seriously?" He chuckled. "You're the guy that painted the academy orange. Nobody normal is going to come within ten miles of you, if they have a choice."

"Though what 'bout you?"

"If I am what's normal then what the hell has the world been up to."

"Your family seems sane, at least," he retorted.

Shikamaru shot him a confused glare, then shook his head.

"Ichiraku-san? Can you come over?"

"Sure, sure, a moment!"

Teuchi came with two bowls of _shio rāmen_ for the couple sitting just beside the two. He rubbed his temples and stretched for a bit before he came up to the boys.

"Nara-san? Do you want another bowl? We got plenty more! Best _rāmen_ in the village, you know? Of course you do! Who doesn't!"

He managed a smile of courtesy.

"No, not that. I'm more than full, as is Naruto - whether he agrees or not, that's not my problem - but another thing. You know my father?"

"Shikaku-sama? Of course. Why?"

"I'm embarrassed for this idiot. If you could, bill it to my father today. I'll give him the bill."

"Hey, Shika, why?"

"I asked you to come and show me around this place. I'll probably be coming back here some time in the future again, to be honest."

"I owe your family one for today."

Shikamaru stopped eating. Naruto looked… different was a rough equivalent.

"You don't want to owe a clan a favour. Nobody does."

The blond-haired boy shook his head sharply.

"I know. I know what I'm saying. I'm… shocked. Just, nobody's done anything at all for me, ever. Well, except the old man, but he's a sneaky old geezer."

"My family's no less sneaky."

"I know, but… You know what I mean, I hope. When you have a good deed happen to you, done upon you or for you, you're definitely gonna be grateful. If it's such a good enough thing, you know, it's gonna smash you apart."

He was grateful; he was thoroughly grateful for someone to shake up his world, shake it up and upturn it.

"We've known each other for, what… Well, actually, it's been almost a year, yeah?"

"Yeah, we failed our exam then for like the second or third time. You, me, Chōji and that Inuzuka kid. Kiba?"

"Yeah, about a year. Kiba and Chōji got closer, but yeah that was that. It's been a year. A hell of a year, you know. I didn't really have that many friends before that. There was Chōji, sure, but he grew cold after the kids picked the bullying up again. Just… I don't know."

"Man, we can't even communicate properly."

"Yeah, I know. It's a drag."

"Yeah."

Naruto put out his fist in front of Shikamaru, the widest smile plastered across his whiskered face. Shikamaru glanced at the fist, then looked back at Naruto.

"Mmh!"

The boy shook his fist.

"Oh, right."

Shikamaru bumped his fist.

"Can't wait for the exam tomorrow, you know? Doesn't even matter if we skip class today. What can we learn that'll actually make a difference? Can't patch up a lost year in a day."

"We'll have that written exam as well, you know."

"Oh, right! _Right_. Still. Can't patch up a lost year in a day. We'll totally fail it whether we go today or not!"

"You seriously won't even try?"

"What, and you will?"

"Nah," Shikamaru responded and dusted his pants off. "Too much work. I have to go home anyway. You owe us one."

The words rang out in Naruto's ears. Easy words to way, tough to make up for. They waved each other off and split ways. Shikamaru went off towards his clan's compound and Naruto… he didn't really have a clue as to where he was going. He needed to get ready for the exam, though. A million things to do yet never enough time. Even though he would thoroughly and utterly fail the test he had due the next day, he wanted to at least go down in style. He needed some decent equipment with which to take the test, some pens or pencils and bits of elementary groceries.

The bookstore clerk was moderately friendly despite the fact he'd glance in Naruto's general direction far too often for general coincidence. He helped him get around in the store even more than necessary - probably to keep an eye on him still. The grocery store clerk behaved just the same. While he might have been an excellent ninja, he was pretty sure he had nowhere to hide a box of milk or cereal, or a twelve-pack of toilet paper. Especially the paper.

He made it home quite early in the afternoon. Most of his supplies he knew would last him for a while, so he tucked his wallet away safely. He put the bags down, sorted the groceries according to where they went, put away the expendable supplies. Didn'ttake him too long before he had everything where he wanted it. The curtains were already drawn, there was food in the fridge, anything he had to do was already done.

That left him with little to do and little will to make anything great. He took a book from his meagre shelf and laid himself on the bed. The thing about his book collection is that it was far more than enough for him seeing as he had never even read a single one of those titles. It would always most certainly be pretty much the one stead-fast rules of his household: he read little. Proved to be of little difference that time as well.

He put the darn thing away again back where it belonged to. There was just one thing he had still failed to do but was of monumental importance.

He always locked the door behind him, three times, before setting off and leaving. He had brought none of his school equipment with him and little of any additional gear; it was just him and his eyeball-searing orange jumpsuit.

Middays and early afternoons always were magnificent in the village, especially when the sky turned cloudy and opaque. He knew he had to make haste so he made his way through the rooftops. The ninja on patrol duty were anything but surprised at his being there. They still wouldn't wave back at him, though. Stuck-up pricks.

Judging by the general state of activity, he was right on time. The building was deceptively empty: nobody ran down the halls and he could hear almost nothing. The youngest students were still in class, probably listening to some elementary theoretical lectures - he still paid some attention at that age - and the older ones were on a visit to training grounds, probably for some practical weapons exercises. His own class would probably be with Mizuki at one of the grounds at that time of the day… Well, at the very least, Mizuki's closest equivalent, seeing as Mizuki accidentally disappeared according to the official investigative reports that were rushed through a morning's hearing session.

He navigated the halls and corridors like a professional - he knew them like the palm of his hand - and made his way to the lounge where he knew he'd find his mark. He didn't even bother to try being stealthy and dodging the cleaners that eyed him with contempt. Didn't even matter, he knew he'd be out at most in a handful of days. No, there were more important things to do.

One of those was talking to Iruka.

The _chūnin_ was drinking his coffee while looking over some papers. A fresh stack sat to the right of the table he was at, a disorganised heap to his left. He was so engrossed in whatever his assignment was that he failed to notice Naruto coming up behind him.

"Sensei?"

Iruka lifted his head and swiftly glanced over his shoulder.

"Oh, hey there, Naruto-kun."

"Yeah, sorry for not showing up today, you know what the deal is."

"Definitely isn't your first time. What's up?"

"You know what the deal is."

"That thing?"

"Yeah… I'm kinda worried. Or concerned. I don't know. Don't know what I am, you know, but I'm really not fine. I've had some time to chew it over, yeah, but I still don't understand any of it. Or at least do understand it marginally. Was what Mizuki-sensei said true? Am I..." - and he stopped.

Iruka turned around in his chair and let out a deep sigh as he ran his fingers through his hair. He'd glance at Naruto for a fraction of a moment, then divert his eyes, and all of that a couple of times. After a second or two, he called the boy closer.

"Come here," he said, and pulled the boy in for a brief hug.

"Most of it, well, actually is. You're basically the sealing scroll for a _bijū_, otherwise gargantuan chakra demons. In this case, it's the Kyūbi. Well, you're not quite a scroll, your case's just one of many and there are now a few others, not to mention that there have been many other such… holders, so to say. They're called _jinchūriki_… _you_ are called that. Whatever worked with inanimate weapons and inanimate scrolls, you're the upscaled thing. That's the bare basics."

Naruto nodded and looked down at the floor.

"There's one more thing. You're something a scroll isn't: you're human."

"Oh?"

"I mean, duh, you know that, right? But, the catch is in that, you being a human, you're not going to be that which you hold. Well, neither are scrolls, but this is different. I'm sure you've talked this through with someone else and - I don't really know the specifics, this isn't something you learn in school exactly - but your chakra is pretty much separate from that of the demon in you. You're just as much Naruto with it as you are without it."

"Iruka-sensei?"

"Yeah?"

"You suck at explaining things."

The man chuckled and gave a conceitful grin.

"You do know how to make things better, though. Thanks."

"Always here for you, you know?"

"Why, though? Why're you so different?"

Another sigh. Difficult topics one after another.

"Mizuki told you what happened with my folks. I did resent you at first, I don't doubt you remember what I was like at first… But, you know, I was willing to accept the fact that it wasn't you who destroyed our lives. Yes, we were angry and wounded - and how! - but in that anger I saw that we were blinded beyond all reason. Our eyes were closed, even though many here saw far further ahead of their time than others. They were closed because we feared the darkness we were certain was out there. I guess I was willing to squint, and I saw… yeah, I guess I saw the light. You're gonna find that it's going to be mostly ninja that will be accepting of you. Don't know why. They won't all love you, but they'll see you for what you are. Well, most of them. Certain white-haired, 'missing' individuals excluded."

"But why's everybody so silent about it, then? I mean, yeah, there is that law thing, but why? It certainly hasn't helped me out."

"Oh, you think. The point of that is not to leave you out of the know, no, but actually fairly twofold. First, it was envisioned as a means of guarding you and your unique… _ahem_, status, from the youngest civilian populace. It was all set up perfectly, at first at least. The _Hōkage_ wanted to give you a shot at a normal life and he thought of it as a way for the people to forget. If the people don't talk about it, they can't pass distaste on, right? Well, no, that would be wrong actually. While they didn't say anything, the parents of those same kids the law was meant to keep ignorant started behaving… you already know how. The kids picked it up later on. Instead of, well, hating you for the wrong reasons, they started hating you for no reason. The results of this first point of the _Hōkage_ was something akin to 'oops'.

"The second's a bit more opaque, you see. You being a _jinchūriki_ means quite a lot to this village. _Jinchūriki_ in general are a bit of a wildcard across the _shinobi_ world as a whole, and you're this village's ace up the proverbial sleeve. Compared to some others, you're remarkably useful, not to mention sane. Can't tell you anything much about it, I don't know that much. You're not interesting, which is phenomenal. The point was to hide your identity, which the village did actually manage quite well. A keen spy might notice that there's a random kid that nearly everyone seems to avoid or detest for some reason or another, but other than that you're surprisingly safe."

"So, you're telling me that I'm safe because everybody hates me for no reason that they know of? This is the master plan of the village! Bury me in masses of mean people. Fun."

"You don't get it. The whole point was to protect you more than anything. Being snarky about it isn't going to change the reality of the idea. Nobody is going to expect that… well, let's face it, you're an asset and a weapon, and nobody's going to expect the fact that Konoha's greatest asset is at the same time going to be Konoha's least desireable."

"Hey, that's harsh!"

Iruka took a sip of his coffee and closed his eyes. The cup had already almost frozen over. Cold and bitter, like he inadvertently turned out to be that time.

"Yeah, I guess I might have overdone it a bit. You do get the idea, though, right? It was thought up as a way to kind of brush you away from the primary line of fire. There were things like I don't like it, but it was an opportunity to show false weakness and invest in something risky that seems to be turning out quite all right!"

"Am I?"

"I hope you are, at least. You've got to pass the exams tomorrow, though. Some of us here have started growing tired of your shitty antics."

Naruto could only raise an eyebrow, cupped his chin, _hmm_ed. There was something he was missing. The cup in Iruka's hands was empty.

"Iruka-sensei, one thing more and I promise I'm done. Are you sure this is all? Are you sure you aren't leaving something out?"

Iruka gave a shrug of what was mostly indifference and spread his hands out in a gesture roughly equivalent to '_what do you want me to say_'.

"I am definitely not telling you many things and you're quite well aware of it. That's not what you're asking, is it?"

The white-haired boy shook his head.

"Then what are you asking?"

"Something tastes off, I don't know."

"Tastes off you say?"

"Yeah, you know, a foul taste, so to say. Not foul, now that I think of it, no, something closer to that feeling when you bake bread but, once it comes out of the oven, you feel it's hollow on the inside, you can feel that its innards have awkwardly gone missing or something. Like, you _know_ that the bread isn't a lie - it's right there on your plate - but it is definitely going to be put away somewhere because it isn't supposed to be like that, it's impossible for it to be like that. It's going to taste like bread but not like bread. Ah well, I don't know of any taste that can't be washed down with a good, steamy bowl!"

The reversal of Iruka's expression was as quick as lightning.

"I have _work_ to do, Naruto-kun. I can't just walk out of here like that! I wouldn't do that if it were anything, let alone you robbing me of every last miserable penny I've ever earned in my entire life."

"But please! You must be hungry!"

"I am, yes, but even if I had finished all these papers… Just, not today, sorry."

Naruto pouted. Iruka turned around to face the papers again.

"I'm sad! Very sad! Emotionally devastated by the Kyūbi information!"

"Oh, that's too bad."

"I'll study better on a full stomach!"

"Go eat then."

"I'll do the _oiroke no jutsu_ just for you!"

"That's nice."

* * *

><p>He ended up alone for his second meal that day. Teuchi was pleasantly surprised to see his hungriest customer again, even more so when the boy started ordering bowl upon bowl, yet could see something off.<p>

"Hey, Naruto-kun, why aren't you at the Academy? Haven't you got that exam tomorrow?"

"Hey, Teuchi-san. I know, yeah."

"So, why aren't you there?"

"Don't feel like it."

"Yet you feel like _rāmen_?"

"When don't I?"

Teuchi mulled it over for a bit then nodded. True, even if the world were to be falling apart the boy, everyone knew, would be up for a bowl or ten of _rāmen_. Naruto often came just to fill himself up with unhealthy, delicious food, sure, but the _rāmen-ya_ was also his thinking place, his 'somewhere' at which he could mentally lock himself away and process things without fear of being interrupted by anyone of significance. It was odd: everybody who knew him or anything about him knew where he'd most likely be found, but oddly enough that was where nobody went when they looked for him. Hell, Shika and he should've taken the scroll to Teuchi's, now that he gave it some thought.

For all he knew, there wouldn't be much to the exam he had to have the next day. From experience, he knew that he'd utterly and thoroughly fail the written exam time and again - he could only hope to score one or two points out of at least two dozen, and even those were up to luck - but the practical half exam was the one that mattered the most. Depending on how they had drawn straws before his arrival to Ichiraku's, there could either be two of three _jutsu_ - probably _kawarimi_, _bunshin_ or _henge_. He sucked at the plain, Academy-level version of the _bunshin_ and his _kawarimi_ was pretty weak - or one _jutsu_ and one weapons demonstration.

The first gulp of _shio rāmen_ kickstarted his brain and senses almost instantaneously. He ate, swallowed, greedily dug into the bowl, yet stopped almost at once. No, something _was_ off.

"Teuchi-san?"

"Oy?"

"Why do men lie?"

The man furrowed his brow and instinctively adjusted his cap. His frown swiftly melted into a look of confusion.

"I have no idea why you would even ask me of all people."

"Oh, come on! You're the owner of a busy-as-hell _rāmen-ya_! You must've heard half a humdred rumours just today!"

"If it were just half a hundred. Naruto-kun… Well, you see, people lie due to three things, as far as I've seen them do it, at least: first is definitely out of some personal benefit, whether that means that they gain something from lying in the first place or just use lies as a survival tool doesn't matter; second you'll find people lying for the sake of someone else, so that someone they care about can gain something or just continue living their life more or less unhindered; third is going to be for the sake of causing harm upon someone else. Of course, there are those that lie just for the sake of lying, but those are the maniacs.

"You know, the first and third are probably the most common in the petty man, the greedy folk that come and go and are truly insignificant at the end of it all, but you'll find yourself questioning your humanity when you have to confront someone lying out of the second reason. It's those people whose lies can often be the most harmful to the liar as they just keep growing in complexity and causticity, and it's precisely those people that know that their lies destroy lives of others involved in that net of lies but have enough conscience to see that it's wrong. When you lie to save your own skin, you're doing it out of senseless selfishness, sure, but when you do it to save another's skin that's where it becomes tricky. It's those people that have to go to bed with something gnawing at their insides, that have to wake up and wash up thinking that they're bad when it's not quite as black and white."

Naruto blinked once, twice, three times.

"Teuchi-san, are you trying to confess something to me?"

The man chuckled.

"Ah, I wish that I had anything to confess. I don't live an interesting life, really, it's mostly just my work here and some small business to take care of at home here and there. You can't believe how many interesting people come here every day. Some of them would get themselves killed the moment their names escaped someone's lips. I hear everything that goes on in here, you know? Funny thing is that none of the other patrons do. I'm more secure than the _Hōkage_ residence, as far as I hear!"

"Hah, true that. Though it's hard to believe that what you say goes on in here actually does. I can't imagine you running a rumour farm."

"Hasn't anybody come your way offering to buy information?"

"Why would they? I'm just some Ichiraku Teuchi, a generic, civilian _rāmen-ya_ owner. You can't possibly hope to beat my untrustworthiness even if you tried, not even you."

"True that."

Another bowl got emptied.

"Teuchi-san, now that we got this down… Let me ask again: do you have anything to confess to me?"

The man sighed.

"Okay, you caught me. I'm part of this massive plotting and lying scheme: I keep telling everybody how nutritious _rāmen_ is when it's actually a bowl of lard with spices and vegetables stirred in."

"Damn right it's not!"

They bumped fists.

"Yeah! But besides that, no, nothing really."

"So, since there's nobody there, what's troubling you?"

Naruto put the bowl down. An unexpected question he didn't plan on being asked, let alone planned in advance on how to answer. He stared dead straight at Teuchi whose unflinching gaze kept waiting for an answer. The boy was the first to fold.

"I keep thinking I'm missing bits of this puzzle. I mean, sure, you can't have them all all the time, but here I'm missing something like all the corners, as far as I can see. I don't know whether I have nine tenths or nine millionths of a puzzle in my hands."

"Look here, kid. You can't hope to ever have the puzzle whole-"

"-I know, but what-"

"-and intact, because there's no such thing as a puzzle here," Teuchi said, failing to be interrupted. He took the bowls Naruto ate in and piled them one atop of another.

"The puzzle's not a thing that is. You have to look at it as if you saw the picture but some bits of it were still foggy. No other way to go at it. You don't know what's foggy but you know what isn't. Things don't just 'fit in', they're all connected. You'll never see right through the fog, not even with those fancy Hyūga eyes. You might be looking at all there is but are still looking for more things, I don't know. The thing about fogs is that they're not stable: they tend to lift over time. You know, I know what'll have to cheer you up: want a bowl on the house?"

"I guess, sure. I'm just terribly worried about tomorrow, you know. I'm afraid I won't pass and I won't get another chance at passing ever again."

"Don't worry, kid, if you fail at making it to _genin_ the regular way, they'll have to hire you as an infiltrator, so you can eat all the enemy's food a few days before battle!"

They both laughed a bit at that one.

"Yeah, I guess they won't be able to be rid of me either way."


End file.
